Shattered Dreams
by Midnyght Saber
Summary: Post-X4 fic, Zero/Iris and Zero/X. Inspired by the Creed song "Wash Away the Years". Zero, aware that he was the original Maverick and is the cause of all the currect troubles, stumbles near the brink of insanity. Rated for content and violence.


**Disclaimer:**_ Mega Man_ and all related characters and information are the property of Capcom Co., Ltd., Akira Kitamura and Keiji Inafune. This story inspired by "Wash Away the Years", property of Creed and Wind-Up Records, a subsidiary of Sony Music Entertainment.

* * *

I am IMMENSELY proud of this particular story. For the first time since I started writing, I actually started this story with the whole idea being to throw the lyrics in after I finished the story. I was all of on my third listen-through of "Wash Away the Years" and on the sixth paragraph when I realized there wasn't any way I was going to be able to manage put the lyrics in with the mental images I got with this story. Here's to hoping you like, and you might want to take a listen to the song while you read...I enjoyed it that way.

* * *

The first sign X had of Zero being back at the base was the sound of his screaming, followed quickly by his helmet flying through the air of the hallway leading to the where his shuttle had landed.

"Zero?" X asked, picking up the red and white helmet from the floor.

Angry blues met his gaze as Zero stormed by the shorter blue Reploid. "Leave me alone, X," he growled, not even bothering to grab the armor his friend held out to him.

X watched, worry tightening in his abdomen at the sight of Zero's long hair missing its trademark blue ribbon, the pale hair falling about the Hunter in quickly-tangling piles along his back. Fingers ran delicately over the sharp lines of the helmet in X's hands, and he sighed heavily.

- - - - -

Stumbling into his room, Zero's fingers danced over his armor, quickly stripping him of the abhorrent metal, which clattered loudly against the floor as he discarded it. He rested his hand against the charging pod in his room for a moment, the visions that had come to him bursting into drastic detail behind his closed eyes, and if Reploids only had the necessary parts to do so, he would have vomited right then. Pushing away from the pod, he worked to pull his undersuit open and stripped of the protective garment, pulling out an oversized tee shirt and tossing it on before he collapsed into his bed.

Clutching at one of the pillows, Zero bit down hard on his lower lip, feeling the warm, metallic tang of blood in his mouth, as he fought to stave off the coming tears. The visions wouldn't stop, the thoughts and memories twisting in his mind and losing themselves within their own insanity until Zero was sure that it was Iris' blood on his hands, that he was still as Maverick as the day the Gamma Unit had found him, the day that Sigma had challenged him and become infected.

_Infected…_

_Maverick…_

_Not meant to be a savior…_

_Iris…_

_**NO!**_

And he lost the battle, her soft smile rising into his mind's eye, the dying light of her eyes bringing the torrent of tears to his own. Wailing cries of core-deep suffering rose from his throat, a shriek of the damned, cursed, detested soul within him given form in his darkest thoughts. Again he saw crimson patterns upon his body, painting him with the gore of delighted murder, the life-blood of a woman he hadn't know he loved bathing him in all his fiendish glory.

_Destroyer…_

_Murderer…_

_You don't belong…_

_Why do you cling to life...?_

_Masterpiece…_

_Power…_

_Abhorrent providence…_

_Never meant for love…_

Zero knew he needed to get to his recharger. He knew he needed to move from where he lay on the bed. He knew that Iris had loved him. He knew that he was close to shutting down. He knew that he had been the one to kill her.

He knew…

He knew…

_I know…_

_I know…_

_I knew…_

_I loved…_

As the pillow grew moist with the steady river of tears from his eyes, the light of his own eyes faded, his systems shutting down as his last few moments of charge were spent.

- - - - -

"Zero?"

_I don't want to be awake._

"Zero?" More insistent this time.

_Leave me be._

"Zero, wake up."

Eyes fluttered open, optics focusing sluggishly, catching sight of something blue before him, and Zero groaned, closing his eyes again. Letting his body slowly start to register in his mind, terror shot through him at the feel of the pod he lay in, and Zero launched forward, his fist catching the form in front of him with a muffled grunt. "Leave me alone!" he cried.

"Zero!"

Another punch.

A kick.

Strikes aimed at critical areas.

Hits that would cripple, but without a blade would not destroy.

The incoherent babble of his half-aware mind crossed with jagged cries, eyes struggling to see past the interposed memories playing from some broken nightmare jukebox.

A hit in the gut sent him reeling backwards, and as Zero fell back, his head clipped the edge of the bed frame and jostled the neural network within, breaking him free of the convolution between memory and reality.

"Zero…" X whispered, leaning over the prone form, hand placed beneath his head to raise him up. "Zero…what's wrong?"

_My fault…_

_I'm to blame…_

_I don't belong…_

_I'm the hunted…_

_Why do you trust me…?_

_Just get rid of me…_

_I can't stay…_

_You'll only die…_

_Your death…_

_His plan…_

_My fate…_

_Maverick…_

A soft hand ran over the untamed mess his hair had turned into, not daring to try and work through the knots and tangles lest it bring more pain to the already-shaking eyes. "Zero…I'm here. I'm here for you. Don't force yourself to go through this all alone."

_Not your burden to bear…_

_Not your crime…_

_Solitude…_

_Leave me be…_

"Not your responsibility…"

X shook his head, a degree of focus come to the blue eyes dancing in fear. "Yes, it is. _You_ are. All of my friends are."

_Even those I kill?_

_Can't you see the blood?_

_It will be yours…_

_No one is safe…_

_I can't stay…_

_Let me go…_

_Let me fall…_

_Don't want to be…_

_Don't want to live…_

_Not if I'm left alone in the end…_

_I loved…_

"Don't keep the one who kills…"

"That's not who you are anymore, Zero," X whispered softly, pulling his friend into his embrace.

"Their blood…demon…Maverick…destroyer…my fate…"

X pulled his friend closer, holding onto him with desperation born of the fear that it was the only thing keeping them from being pulled forever apart. "I'm not letting you go."

"No good can come from the demon…"

"You're _not_ him anymore."

"Can't escape the inevitability…"

"You already have."

Memory came flooding back, and Zero's hands crept ashamedly to the hem of his shirt, desperate to pull it down over his nudity, and his breath hitched as he felt the soft fabric of his pants beneath his fingers.

"Don't worry," X sighed. "I got you dressed before I set you to recharge. Iota of decency and all."

"Why…?"

"Because you're my friend. You're my partner. You've stood by me and fought against everything. I can't let you go."

"I don't matter."

X shook his head violently. "Don't say that!"

"I can't save them…couldn't save her…I loved…" He shut his eyes, the tears starting anew. "Iris…" he whimpered.

_Did I really…?_

_Was that…?_

_Killed her…_

_Angel of death…_

_Omega…_

_End their lives…_

"Don't deserve your friendship…"

"You have earned it, and so much more."

"I'm not meant for love. Nothing good can ever last in my presence…"

X brushed a stray bit of hair from the shaking azure orbs. "You're meant for all the happiness we all dream for."

_My dreams…_

_Horrid nightmares…_

_Hopeless…_

_Devoid…_

_Emptiness…_

_Within and without…_

"My dreams bleed…"

X shifted his arms, raising Zero's body closer to his own.

_Warmth…_

_Comfort…_

_Belonging…_

_Home…?_

_Safety…?_

_Is this real?_

Heated tears.

Saltwater running from two pairs of eyes.

Trails from green, rivers from blue.

Clear lines of loss and longing.

Electricity passing between two forms.

So close that breaths are shared.

Soft notes of need echoing from the depths of their cores.

The gentle press of lips, the hungry moans lost within the kiss, the desperate grasping of bodies, seeking to eliminate the space between…

_This is love…?_

_I need…_

_I want…_

_Desire…_

_A place to call home…_

_Someone who cares…_

_Fate is not set…_

_I walk my own path…_

- - - - -

Sleepy eyes opened slowly, ocean blues coming into slow focus, feeling the soft spread of sheets beneath his body. Reaching out, Zero felt none but him in the bed, and he sat up.

_Just a dream…?_

Fingers moved to lips, feeling the lines where his teeth had dug into flesh, and he sighed. "Nothing but a dream…"

Pushing up from the bed, he felt the clothing he hadn't worn into bed, and his eyes caught a flash of deep crimson set upon his neatly-piled armor.

A smile came to his lips as he knelt down, taking in the sight of the fully-blossomed rose as he lifted it away from his helmet. Pressing the flower to his nose, he inhaled the wonderfully sweet scent of the flower


End file.
